


only mine, entirely

by dayevsphil



Series: side b: masterpiece theatre (amnesia au timestamps) [6]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Jealousy, M/M, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:28:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21692254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dayevsphil/pseuds/dayevsphil
Summary: Dan is naturally a jealous person, and even idle comments are getting to him these days. Amnesia AU timestamp.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: side b: masterpiece theatre (amnesia au timestamps) [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1559110
Comments: 12
Kudos: 152





	only mine, entirely

**Author's Note:**

> set in part one of amnesia au (pre-kiss), which you can read [here](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1449553) if you're not familiar with it! 
> 
> prompted by det395 <3
> 
> read and reblog on tumblr [here!](https://dayevsphil.tumblr.com/post/189508072483/only-mine-entirely)

“He’s fit, isn’t he?”

Dan looks up from his phone, sufficiently distracted, and frowns at the TV until he realises which of the reality show contestants Phil is most likely talking about.

“Oh,” says Dan. He feels that all-too-familiar twist in his gut, something he’s gotten a lot better about curbing over the years. It’s easier when he’s able to remind himself that Phil loves him and would never leave him, which… isn’t something he feels a hundred percent certain on anymore.

It’s a nagging worry, paranoia maybe, but Dan can’t help thinking that Phil is only still here because he thinks he’s supposed to be. He knows that being thrown into commitment is surely activating some sort of fight or flight reflex in Phil, and he can only hope it stays in fight. Fight, he can handle. Dan knows how to fight with every version of Phil there is. 

There’s nothing he’d be able to do if Phil decided to leave. He hates even thinking about it, because Phil would never consider leaving Before, but now Dan has to guess what he’s thinking at every turn.

“I suppose,” Dan murmurs, looking back down at his phone so he isn’t beleaguered by Phil’s newest idle crush. “If you’re into that sort of thing.”

“You don’t think he’s hot?” Phil asks. He sounds genuinely curious, like Dan’s taste in guys is somehow interesting to him.

“I don’t really trust blondes.”

“Really?” Phil hums, leaning further into Dan’s space so he can watch Dan play a puzzle game. He’s cuddled up in one of Dan’s jumpers and a quilt he’d dragged from the guest room to the sofa, and Dan just wants to wrap an arm around his shoulders and kiss his face until he’s giggling. He doesn’t know for certain that he can do that now, though, and he’s still feeling weirdly bitter besides. “What kind of guys do you like?”

The knot in Dan’s stomach twists again, makes him almost breathless with it, and he sounds much less casual than he wants to when he says, “You.”

“Come off it,” says Phil.

“I’m serious,” Dan says, nudging Phil with his elbow.

“I can’t be the only guy you’ve ever thought was hot,” Phil says dubiously. He nudges Dan right back, a little harder.

“Well, no,” says Dan. Phil wasn’t the first or only man that Dan had ever been attracted to, but he was the first one that Dan felt he was _allowed_ to be. That’s something Phil has always known, except for how he doesn’t anymore, and Dan doesn’t know how to say it. “Just the only one that matters, I guess.”

Maybe he’ll be able to flippantly call people on the telly attractive when he isn’t churning with misplaced, irrational jealousy. He doesn’t want Phil to think they’re one of those couples who has to keep admiration secret from each other like they’re a pair of heteros.

Phil makes a quiet sort of humming noise and turns back to the screen. There’s nothing at all in his body language or facial expression to indicate any kind of real emotion at all, and it makes Dan want to shout out the window about how unfair this is. They could practically read each other’s minds, Before. Phil would know why Dan is tense, he’d _notice_ , or maybe Dan wouldn’t feel this way at all because _he’d_ know that Phil was solidly his.

They’re still curled close together and Dan leans into it, the pressure of Phil’s shoulder on his chest and the berry scent of his shampoo so dizzingly familiar that for a moment Dan forgets anything is wrong in the world.

“He’s fit,” Phil says again, thoughtful, and Dan is knocked back into the present so violently that his breath catches.

“So you said,” says Dan. He can’t keep the irritation out of his voice this time.

“Mm,” Phil hums, leaning further into Dan’s chest. “You’re way more fit. Fitter? Whatever. What I’m saying is he’s got nothing on you, Howell.”

It’s unreal how much that small compliment does for Dan’s anxiety. He huffs a laugh and wraps his arm around Phil just like he’s been aching to for hours. “Stupid. I wasn’t paying attention, who do we hate this round?”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you chicken for the vibe check on this one and threatening to take my dan into the woods to beat his ass if he didn't realise that phil Loves him loves him. you're a real one!


End file.
